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music |
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Chris Brown - Fallen Angel |
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When things go well in my personal life, I guess I become more of a recluse to family issues. I don't know, I just like being on my own more than anything else, one could say.
De'Shawn is doing soo good with his basketball. We will probably be traveling soon, so I am looking forward to all of that. It is like the best thing ever, to see him on the court and doing his business. Watching him have a passion and the drive for everything to go and he works so hard to make sure he does all he can. I love it. I love seeing him have focus and drive, and through the season I have been there for a few games since I have been going into my own thing. With all the plays and the one that is shaping up to go on Broadway soon, I have been swamped with working. But, I am happy to say that my hardwork has paid off and I landed a small movie role. I did that on my own and didn't really say anything because I want De'Shawn to shine right now. When it's my turn, I'll step up and steal it back. But, this is my thing. Basketball and music is his thing. Aside from the acting and stuff I have gotten a job at a boutique. It's just something extra to keep money coming even though we have enough for us. But, once I get tired of the boutique I can start on the runway. I got an offer from Rhiana for her lingerie line and from my mother-in-law to do it for her for her next season's rack. I have been so busy, though, and between all of D's games and stuff it's just going to have to work it's self out.
With the money gained from renting out the place mom got me in Miami, I've put it all together and saved up enough so I didn't have to dip into other funds and now De'Shawn and I are in our own place. It's nothing big and flashy, but I like it. We have made it homely enough for us, so when we are home it is a comforting place to be. But no worries, everyone, we are not going to start having babies and stuff like that. He is still in college, and I'm going to be taking courses again and I've got acting coaches and stuff. We aren't looking for babies anytime soon, if ever, really. Maybe one day, but even then.. due to certain things I'm not sure if I want kids. We'll see. We haven't really discussed kids. We're still kids, and we're just barely getting established in our stuff. It has to be something we both want and that we plan. I don't want him to feel obligated to want kids because you know, I allowed us to slip and we're popping out a mess of kids and end up having relationship issues because everything changes. Like..the fun stops or whatever. But, like I said, we're only 18..almost 19. Who needs to have kids now, anyway? Plus, if you start early then you're bound to have a bunch of little monsters unless you get your ovaries removed. I'm just saying...
Mom had..twins. I called and said congrats and everything. But I doubt I'll make it for Easter. I sent some stuff off for my sister, though. I sent out a mess of stuff for Sophi's birthday. We'll make it out there soon, but right now? With basketball, my reading for the play and the movie we are just so..busy. It's like super crazy and traveling all too often just makes me grouchy because of the time change and then underlying issues, so I'd rather not. We went to church this morning, though. We got up early and went to church and that was kinda fun. But uh, back to my mom and the new people. Mom had twins. Anthony and Priscilla. They're cute. I mean, they're babies. They are cuter than Sophi was. But Sophia is my little buddy. I need to go and kidnap her for a week but like I said, this schedule shit is just crazy right now. Being an adult kind of sucks, but we're handling business.
Last night I spoke to D' about my feelings on everything at this point in my life and I guess I was a bit harsh about some things but you know, it's how I feel and the fact people think what they do doesn't bother others or anything like that, just makes it seem so much less realistic. Sometimes I feel like with certain things I am a ghost of a past life and my exsistance doesn't really count for much, as with others I feel more involved and apart of something. It's like that in this town, in my life, in..everything, I guess. But at least I am happily married and we are comfortable with eachother. Let me get off here, though, and see what Bubba is up to. Get him to go to the gym with me and run the treadmill.
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